


Mech Musings

by DownOnThePharm



Series: Fully Functional [1]
Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-06-07 10:57:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15217673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DownOnThePharm/pseuds/DownOnThePharm
Summary: A brief moment with a pensive Kryten, set around “Krysis.”  Can mechanoids find love?  If they can, do they really want it?Sorry, not sorry for this admittedly cracked potential pairing.  It kept me amused while my husband and I went out driving.





	Mech Musings

Kryten slumped with a sigh onto a stool in the Sleeping Quarters, his tidying abandoned for the moment. Cleaning brought him little satisfaction as of late. Even the prospect of tackling the ever-present detritus of half-empty lager cans and crusty takeaway cartons littering the table held no joy. Perhaps Mr. Lister and Mr. Rimmer were correct, he thought. Perhaps he was having a midlife crisis. Life seemed so pointless and empty.

No, he thought. That’s impossible. The very idea was preposterous. A mech having a midlife crisis? Mechs don’t even have lives.

Yet...

He certainly felt as though he had a life. His servile programming long broken by Mr. Lister’s careful tutelage (well, infectiously enthusiastic, at any rate), Kryten was a fully paid-up member of the Red Dwarf crew. He had his own opinions, his own thoughts, his own interests - he was much more than a mere bog-bot now. Why, he had successfully called Mr. Rimmer “smeghead” on no fewer than three separate occasions. He even knew what it was to love. 

Love. Such a small, simple word, yet one laden with tremendous meaning. 

He had experienced many forms of love over the last few decades. He loved Mr. Lister as he felt a parent would love an irrepressible, charming, yet irritating child. He loved the Cat as he presumed one would love a particularly daft yet amusing pet. He even supposed he loved Mr. Rimmer after a fashion, if not giving in to the impulse to flush the officious, neurotic hologram’s lightbee out of the nearest airlock could be said to be love. They were a dysfunctional little family, adrift in the depths of space, and he loved them all.

Kryten had even sampled romantic love. The Pleasure GELF Camille had certainly tingled his circuits. Even when it was revealed that she was not a particularly attractive mechanoid, but an amorphous, rather slimy life form, Kryten had still greatly enjoyed her company. True, his ill-fated dalliance with her was a story that wouldn’t have been out of place in one of Mr. Lister’s sappy romance films, but it was nevertheless his, and he treasured its memory. He had long thought he would never experience such feelings again...

...but then the Dwarfers met him.

Him. Butler. A Series 3000 DivaDroid mechanoid. An earlier model. A more primitive build. An older technology. By all rights, Kryten should have been the far superior mech. Yet, Butler had proven to be a talented, accomplished, brilliant, gracious polymath. Kryten had immediately despised him. 

Or, had he?

As of late, Kryten often found himself mulling over the strange, not entirely unwelcome emotions niggling at the edge of his programming. Butler appeared to enjoy the Dwarfers’ company, and contacted them fairly regularly, offering everything from information on local hazardous conditions to advice on treating Mr. Lister’s ailments. He had even hosted them several times on the Nova 3 for admittedly pleasant evenings of dinner, drinks, and conversation.

Initially, Kryten had resented what he saw as Butler’s attempts to ingratiate himself with his crew. More recently, however, to his discomfiture, he found himself appreciating the interactions with the other mech. What he once considered insufferable arrogance, he now viewed as quiet confidence. The smarmy tones of Butler’s voice now struck Kryten more often than not as carefully modulated and pleasant. Even when Butler offered unsolicited advice, Kryten perceived it as caring and solicitous rather than obtrusive. It was all terribly disconcerting.

As he sat listlessly at the table, Kryten’s musings drifted once again to Butler. A warmth suffused his circuits as he dwelled on the thoughts of the Series 3000, a warmth not unlike that he experienced when he accessed his memories of Camille...

Kryten suddenly sat bolt upright, neon blue eyes widening. 

No, it couldn’t be. No. He couldn’t possibly be considering Butler as a potential... 

Potential what? Friend? Partner? Spouse? Lover? Mate? What?

Was this - love? Could he be falling in love? Love? With Butler?

No. Impossible.

He rose from his seat and began bustling about the sleeping quarters again. More cleaning was obviously in order here. Lack of pleasure in cleaning be damned - anything to distract himself. Yes. A distraction. That’s what was needed.


End file.
